We have all heard the expression, “Just believe it and it will come.” Well, technically, that is true, however, ‘believing’ is not just thinking that you can have it; it is also feeling that it is possible. When we believe that we can “have it,” that means we have no doubt in receiving it. For many of us dealing with infertility would tend to disagree with this expression. We all believe that we will be awesome mothers to a beautiful, healthy, happy baby. We just need the baby, and the journey that we are all traveling makes getting to what we want to come, very hard.
This past February, my husband and I travelled to Cancun, Mexico to do IVF. In the months prior to arranging to go, my work life was extremely difficult, my mother in law had just come to visit, and ended up getting the flu and was rewarded with a week-long stay at the hospital I worked at. I was also severely bogged down in stress and depression. Not the most ideal situation, heading to go do IVF. But, we went anyway. Cancun is beautiful. Our hotel was downtown and we were able to walk the mile and a half, to the hospital where the doctor’s office was located. We enjoyed the walks and we would talk more than we have in a while. During our walks to the doctor’s office we bonded on a whole new level. We went to visit the doctor just about every other day. During our visits we would meet with the doctor, I would get the lovely wand in the hooha and we would leave with some shots in a cooler with ice, all in the hopes of developing the 5 follicles I had to a reasonable size. The day finally came and I was scheduled to have my follicles extracted, we were so excited. I went in to the little operating room with my lovely blue cap to cover my hair, and as I laid on the operating room table, I prayed, hoped and believed everything would be alright. The next thing I knew I was in the recovery room waiting to fully wake up and talk to the doctor about my procedure. Once fully recovered, we found that 6 follicles were taken, one more than we had hoped for, we were ecstatic. As we left, we received more shots, this time it was for the dreaded progesterone oil, yuck. We were also told that the office coordinator would be in touch with the results of our follicles as they were on the way the embryologist for PGS testing and gender selection. We got daily updates that our embabies were doing well. All but one survived to-day 5 and we were scheduled to go in for our transfer. When we went in we had to wait, for we were second on the list to have a transfer of embryos for the day. Finally we were called to the doctor’s office. As we entered the office I could feel there was something not right. Immediately that sick feeling you get in your stomach developed and I wanted to just throw-up. Our doctor was somber and wouldn’t fully look us in the eyes. I knew at that moment I wouldn’t be having my transfer. The doctor proceeded to tell us that our embabies 3 boys and 2 girls, all tested abnormal, and that they would not implant an abnormal embryo. I felt numb. The tears started to flow, and all I could think about was why?. I cried the entire way back to the hotel. We didn’t walk this time, my husband hailed a cab and we were both in agony after this terrible news. Thirteen days of waiting, hoping, missed work and much-anticipated excitement, was all crushed in the matter of ten minutes with the doctor. We were both crying and trying so hard to be there for one another, but we were both defeated. My husband then out of anger and pain relayed that he didn’t want to try again, because he didn’t want to feel this way again. At first I felt the same way, but there is such a strong desire for a baby in our lives that we both decided we needed to try again.
After we came home we spent the next few weeks figuring out how we were going to afford trying to do this again. We ended up selling our house, moving to Arizona from Georgia, moving in with my sister-in-law, my husband worked on starting a business with her and here I am writing a blog to help others in this infertility fight. We are planning to go back to Mexico, this time going to Matramoros.
As I am planning for this next phase in our fertility journey I found somethings to help, with achieving what my goal, besides eating healthy, dieting, taking a crap load of supplements and trying to relieve the stress, anger and depression I have. I wanted to find myself. I wanted to become healthy mentally and prepare myself that this may not happen again. I feel that the negative atmosphere I had lived in for so long may have added stress that in essence may have destroyed my eggs and chances of having a child. So in finding a positive outlook, I figured what harm could it make anyway, I started to research ways to achieve your desires. So I am sharing this with you today and I hope to write some more positive and uplifting posts, to not only help me, but those of you reading this blog as well.
So in believing we have a say in achieving our desires and goals we need to:
(1) Identify Desire
(2) Raise the Vibration (feeling)
(3) Allow it
The allowing of your desire can come to you very quickly providing you have no resistance to receiving it.
Resistance = Doubt
When you remove the ‘doubt’ then you can have what you want, you are allowing and that is how it can come to you.
Tools for allowing:
There are a number of tools, techniques and strategies that can help you remove the doubt (resistance). Here is one that I like best.
Ask yourself this question:
“Is there anyone else experiencing what I am? How are they achieving what they desire?”
For example, if your desire is to lose weight and get healthy to have a baby, then you could ask yourself: “Is there anyone on the planet who has lost weight and become healthy and achieved pregnancy?”
Yes, there are an abundance of women going through what you are going through, and with perseverance and determination, they have lost weight and become healthy and achieved what they wanted because they believed in themselves and they let the doubt and fear of failure go.
NOW I WANT YOU TO KNOW THIS IS POSSIBLE. I WANT YOU ALSO TO FEEL THIS IS POSSIBLE!
And when it feels possible, you have removed doubt.
And when you remove the doubt, the universal Law of Desire can bring your desires to you.
I know it may seem like poppycock, and false dreams, but removing doubt, fear and anxiety can help you to achieve what you want. I hope to continue to touch on ways to bring comfort in believing that what we want in motherhood is not a road block. I want to become a more positive person and remove the doubt that I will not have a child from my thoughts and change it to, I WILL have a child, and I will be the most incredible mother to this beautiful baby.
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